Our Infertility Story - Part 4

Here's the last post from my journal about this experience {the one with the fun exciting news}!!

June 9, 2013

One of the sites I recently found {and read the entire site because I felt like it was so applicable} is http://www.ldsinfertility.org It is nice to see gospel based topics and discussions about infertility. The comments and topics were so relatable. It gave a list of ways for others to support you and had discussion boards on topics about infertility but all from a LDS perspective. They also focus on infertility awareness. This is something I’ve thought a lot about lately too. Sometimes I want to share more about our experience. Not to have others feel sorry for us, but to give others insight and to help someone else going through the same thing. The website also gave helpful ideas for those going through infertility on how to talk about it with family and friends and a list of things people can do to support you. http://www.ldsinfertility.org/supporting/ I love all of these ideas. 

My advice to others is to be genuine, not just try to get the scoop. I’m realizing I don’t have to share or tell everyone who asks about the details, I can just say “Thanks for the concern, I just don’t feel like talking about it today. When I have felt comfortable talking with certain people about it I feel like we’re able to connect and become better friends when I open up.

August 25, 2013

WERE PREGNANT!!!!!! Big Fat Positive!! IVF worked, it feels like a miracle! It is a miracle!! We are so happy! I’m currently 14 weeks pregnant, due 2/24/14! I’m starting to have a belly and I love it! I just passed the first trimester-it feels like such an accomplishment!  The last 3 months since I last wrote in June have been full of excitement! It’s a whole new world of pregnancy and baby stuff; it’s so fun to finally be at this stage after wanting it for the last 3 years! Here’s a little recap since my last post about doing IVF.

7 Week Ultrasound

On June 18 I went in early for blood work to find out if it worked. We were super anxious! We were flying to Utah that afternoon and wanted to hear from the Dr. office before we left the house at 1pm.  Just after 11am I got the call. Mike stood next to me so he could hear what the nurse said on the phone. She said the blood work was positive and I was pregnant!! I was shocked-sometimes it felt like I was never going to hear those words. She told me my HCG levels were above what they needed to be meaning I was pregnant. I wanted to ask her if she was sure but she repeated it and all I could do was look at Mike in disbelief. We hung up the phone and just hugged each other. This was the BEST NEWS EVER. My head was already spinning with what to do first! Mike suggested we say a prayer to thank Heavenly Father. We said a prayer and just sat down together so excited to do much of anything. Suddenly we were looking up what 4 week’s pregnant looked like, reading and taking it all in. It was such a great feeling.  We had about an hour to pack and eat lunch all in-between looking things up and asking each other if this was real. We were running around the house like crazy people. My packing was the most sporadic it’s ever been but I didn’t even care, we were pregnant!! We both heard what she said on the phone but for some reason I doubted what she actually said. {Did I just hear what I wanted to hear on the phone?} Mike kept reassuring me that is indeed what she said!

I had originally told my parents that we wouldn’t find out until our blood work in Utah 2 days later {because I thought it would be fun to surprise them with the news when we showed up. IVF’ers don’t get to have that surprise announcement and I wanted this to be mine.} Once I knew we were pregnant that plan lasted about 20 min before I was dying to call our parents! My mom was confused because she thought we wouldn’t know for another few days. I had to keep telling her, Mom I lied to you about when we were finding out-I just went in today-were pregnant! My parents were obviously thrilled {and shocked to be getting the call 2 days early} They were so excited! Since we’d be seeing Mike’s parents that night we decided to wait to tell them in person. {We ended up calling them on our layover to tell them because we were delayed a few hours and wouldn’t be getting into SLC till around 2AM.}  We thought we'd be able to hold out for a day and tell them in person but we couldn’t wait! It was hard to keep our excitement under control in the airport when we told them! We were in such a rush to get to the airport and running late due to all the excitement {I guess if your going to miss a flight this would have been a good reason}. We made it to the airport and through security {where I got the pat down twice}. I think the first time we could actually breath was when we were sitting on the plane. We were so exhausted from the last 2 hours but beyond excited with our news!

Getting news of a pregnancy the day we left for Utah meant we needed to continue the progesterone shots each night {OUCH!} for the next month and a few days {until July 24}. Thankfully we had researched this ahead of time with TSA and how to take needles and this medication {liquid} in our carry-ons. I had a note from our fertility center and had ordered extra medication. This was all just in case, but I wanted to be prepared to take everything if we received good news! As we went through security we pulled out a HUGE bag of needles, a bright red sharps container, gauze, and the progesterone. I felt proud, that was nothing compared to all the used ones we had at home! We had defeated this and that bag full of shots meant good news! The progesterone shots are hormones to help thicken the lining of the uterus and make it easier for the embryo to implant. We planned our life around these, including a shot in the Chicago airport on our layover…that was fun-going into a locking restroom together to have Mike give me a shot and walk out like nothing just happened. It was quite comical as we walked out together, I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone but I saw a guy watch us walk out, that was awkward. The shot time wasn’t until we were actually in the air but we did it a little early. I wasn’t about to try to do a shot in the airplane bathroom. {I did Google it and people have done it.}

These shots go in 1.5 inches! As I did more and more of them it became less and less of an event each night. I still couldn’t prep the needle or look at it before or I’d get nervous and tense. It was so nice once we were done with these shots! We no longer BOTH had to be home at exactly 10pm every night. For the most part these shots were ok and I got used to them. I was sore but found if I walked/moved around a lot just after the shot it helped not be so sore the next day. I’d usually walk around the house kicking my legs up in the air for a few minutes. There were a few shots that didn’t go so well, either Mike drew up blood and had to stop and start over or a couple times or it hit a nerve. Those HURT! I still have a weird pain on my right lower back/hip area from hitting nerves. I hope it goes away soon but I hear it can take a while.  Another rough night was one that I felt pretty sick/tired so I went to bed early and Mike was going to wake me up at 10 to do the shot. I was so out of it and the shot hurt really bad that night {probably because I was half asleep} I immediately started crying {probably all the hormones getting to me} and I couldn’t stop. I knew it was silly, the shot was over and everything was ok but I just cried and kept saying “I don’t know why I can’t stop crying”… oh but everything was so wonderful because I was finally pregnant!

Last Night of Shots!

Feeling like a champ after our last shot!

September 7, 2013

I feel pretty good if I get enough sleep and keep eating throughout the day. We started teaching early morning seminary this last week and that has been rough! I am getting up at 4:30am and trying to go to bed around 9. I have to come home and take an hour nap before going to work or I cant function!

When we went in for a ultrasound in week 12 we had so much fun. Our baby was moving its arms and legs and looked like a real baby. It was hard to believe it was inside of me doing that and I felt nothing. We saw the little arms and legs moving around and the baby was bouncing all around.

12 Week Ultrasound

I really like our doctors, doctors office and have heard nothing but good things about the hospital I’ll deliver at. We’re signed up for a baby basics class and childbirth class. We even broke down and rented a garage so that I wont have to scrape this winter being pregnant and we can bring the baby home into a garage, not the cold outside. We love looking at things in the store and online and I cant wait to find out what it is to start buying things. Once we know the gender it will change everything! We are such planners and cant wait to get all set up for this baby that is going to be so loved!!

On Sept. 26 we found out its a GIRL! We are so excited! Here's a link to that post.

October 13, 2013

One MAJOR thing I also want to make note of is the cost of the IVF cycle we did. A month or so ago we still hadn’t received what I thought should be our final bills from the fertility center so I called to check on it. We owed the cost for the IVF procedures and just wanted to pay it and be done with that part of our lives. I called billing to discuss it with them. I was told we didn’t owe anything and actually had a credit on our account from a $40 co pay they shouldn’t have charged us for. I was confused, how could this be? I again explained my whole situation to her and reason for calling stating that I should at least be on the hook for my 10% because we’d already met our deductible. {Yes, it felt funny calling to ask to pay, but I knew it was coming and wanted to know how much it was going to be}. The lady on the phone made my year!! She explained to me that insurance covered the whole bill for IVF!!! I was shocked, thrilled, and tried to keep it together on the phone! What a blessing! She had to explain it to me a couple times before I believed it. Turns out we have great insurance {thank you EMC and Massachusetts!} and sometimes it gets coded a certain way that makes everything covered!! I hung up and ran to tell Mike but got super emotional while telling him. After all the other infertility costs and things we’d been through I knew this was a gift from Heavenly Father! I feel emotional just thinking about it again. This is just one of the many ways I know Heavenly Father has helped us during this trial. 

November 7, 2013
After looking back through this journal I made a fun connection to the date Feb 24...
Feb. 24, 2012- Mike had his surgery mentioned in Post 1
Feb. 24, 2013- The day we found out the first IUI hadn't worked
Feb. 24, 2014- The Due Date for our baby girl!

This was such a fun realization! There is major significance to this date for the last 3 years. Some hard but all leading up to Feb 24, 2014! Now...if she actually comes on that day it will be amazing!

This journal is a step in understanding my emotions from 3 years of infertility and IVF. I hope that it will help someone else going through the same thing. Or who knows…maybe it will be Mike and I going through it again in a few years to get pregnant with baby #2.  I know as soon as we hold our baby all the frustrating emotions of getting to this point will be forgotten...but I do want to remember the things we have learned and how Heavenly Father has helped us in this process. Im so grateful for the love and support from so many people during this trial and as I've been posting about it. It is totally worth every emotion and penny getting to this point. We can't wait to be parents!